Salvador and I are doing well, but there are definitely good days and bad days. Last week we had an amazing day! Troy was still here with me in Bogota and it was our last day together. We decided to go to a park that we had only been to once before that afternoon. Once we arrived, I noticed another couple walking towards the park with two little girls. I thought right away that they looked American. I asked them if they were adopting and they were! Not only were they adopting also but they were from Minnesota and her brother lives in Bismarck! 11 Million people in a random park. Coincidence? I don't think so.
We told them that Troy was leaving that night and I was going to be all alone in our apartment. They told us that they were staying in a home just for families adopting.... and there was room available! I knew immediately that this was God's specific provision for me. I felt like manna had dropped right out of heaven!
I moved the very next day and Salvador and I couldn't be happier here. I am so thankful that God placed me in a home with other families for support and friendship.
Psalm 40:5
"Many, Lord my God, are the wonders you have done, the things you planned for us. None can compare with you; were I to speak and tell of your deeds, they would be too many to declare."
Wednesday, June 5, 2013
Friday, May 24, 2013
My Prayer Today: Lord, What Would Bring You the Most Glory?
The funeral was yesterday and I was so blessed by all the people that came to say good-bye to my dad. He would have been so proud of my mom and her strength. She honored my dad and his life. It was just beautiful. My dad was so loved!
In a few hours I will pick my girls up from their last day of school. For those of you that know me well, it has been no secret that I have thoroughly enjoyed this last year. My girls were all in school ALL DAY! Oh, what freedom! Sweet, sweet freedom! So, this afternoon is bittersweet. I know these last 2 hours before picking up my girls are the last free moments for a long, long while. I decided to sit down with the my bible and journal and give my last quiet moments to God.
My husband is still in Bogota. Handling all sorts of situations that comes with a two year old. I think you know what I mean..... Anyway, he's lonely and feeling a bit isolated. There have been some challenging moments at 4 am, 8 am, 8:30 am, 12 pm, 2:30 pm.... you get the picture. He called me this morning to vent.
With all that's been happening in our lives my mind really wants to go to some bad places. "Stinking Thinking" some call it. I want to feel sorry for myself. Why did this happen? Why NOW God?!
Why the accident Lord? Can I handle a two-year old that's testing all the boundaries and authority? WHAT AM I GOING TO DO? My friend told me this morning, "This is my expertise...don't go there, it's a trap." I'm normally a glass half-full person so this is uncharted territory for me. I asked the Lord, "What would bring You the most glory? In all this pain, uncertainty, joy, stress...what would bring You the most glory?"
Here's what I read:
2 Corinthians 7:10
Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret, but worldly sorrow brings death.
Alrighty then! This is so true! What does feeling sorry for myself do? Makes me feel WORSE!
But, you know what makes me feel better? Lord, I'm so sorry I don't have more compassion. I'm so sorry I don't have more forgiveness. I'm so sorry I haven't loved others like You love me. CHANGE ME! Change my heart to be more like Yours. I need You, Lord. Thank you for giving me a beautiful family and a wonderful dad that was so loving. Help me to love my little boy like you loved me when I was kicking and screaming. There's hope in that. Peace in that. I don't think feeling sorry for myself brings God any glory but I do know that when I ask him to make me more like Him, that does bring Him glory.
In a few hours I will pick my girls up from their last day of school. For those of you that know me well, it has been no secret that I have thoroughly enjoyed this last year. My girls were all in school ALL DAY! Oh, what freedom! Sweet, sweet freedom! So, this afternoon is bittersweet. I know these last 2 hours before picking up my girls are the last free moments for a long, long while. I decided to sit down with the my bible and journal and give my last quiet moments to God.
My husband is still in Bogota. Handling all sorts of situations that comes with a two year old. I think you know what I mean..... Anyway, he's lonely and feeling a bit isolated. There have been some challenging moments at 4 am, 8 am, 8:30 am, 12 pm, 2:30 pm.... you get the picture. He called me this morning to vent.
With all that's been happening in our lives my mind really wants to go to some bad places. "Stinking Thinking" some call it. I want to feel sorry for myself. Why did this happen? Why NOW God?!
Why the accident Lord? Can I handle a two-year old that's testing all the boundaries and authority? WHAT AM I GOING TO DO? My friend told me this morning, "This is my expertise...don't go there, it's a trap." I'm normally a glass half-full person so this is uncharted territory for me. I asked the Lord, "What would bring You the most glory? In all this pain, uncertainty, joy, stress...what would bring You the most glory?"
Here's what I read:
2 Corinthians 7:10
Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret, but worldly sorrow brings death.
Alrighty then! This is so true! What does feeling sorry for myself do? Makes me feel WORSE!
But, you know what makes me feel better? Lord, I'm so sorry I don't have more compassion. I'm so sorry I don't have more forgiveness. I'm so sorry I haven't loved others like You love me. CHANGE ME! Change my heart to be more like Yours. I need You, Lord. Thank you for giving me a beautiful family and a wonderful dad that was so loving. Help me to love my little boy like you loved me when I was kicking and screaming. There's hope in that. Peace in that. I don't think feeling sorry for myself brings God any glory but I do know that when I ask him to make me more like Him, that does bring Him glory.
Sunday, May 19, 2013
Our Heavenly Dwelling
My dad passed away unexpectedly in an accident on Friday morning. I am here in Bogota trying to process in my heart everything that has happened in the last week. Sometimes there are no words to try to figure out why things happen in this world. I have a precious new son that my dad will never get to meet. My dad was a wonderful man, so compassionate and willing to help anyone that needed help. My dad would have done anything for me. And it is hard to come to the realization that someone who has always been a part of my life is now gone. I take great comfort in knowing that I will see him again someday in heaven.
Here I am in Bogota adopting a little boy and discovering the miracle of loving a child that did not come from me physically. I have learned this from my Heavenly Father but also my earthly father. I am adopted and was loved so deeply by my dad that I never once questioned in my heart if I was wanted. I always knew- my dad was so good at letting me know that. If I cried, my dad cried. If I was happy, my dad was happy. If I needed help, he was the first one to offer assistance. Because of my wonderful earthly father's love I have been able to easily accept and know my Heavenly Father's love. He was such a good example of a father's love for his child.
I'm so sad for our family and this tragedy but I am comforted now by my Heavenly Father. I know that my dad is now experiencing true life and we are the ones experiencing the sadness of death.
I cannot thank my family and friends enough who have walked with me through this journey and offered so many loving words of encouragement and support. I am truly blessed. Tell your loved ones today how much you love them. Don't hold back- tell them what you love about them, how much you love them, hug them if you can. Life is truly short. Nothing else matters in this life except God, family, and friends.
Psalm 29:11
The Lord gives strength to his people; The Lord blesses his people with peace.
Psalm 30:11
You turned my wailing into dancing; you removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy, that my heart may sing to you and not be silent. O Lord, my God, I will give thanks to you forever.
Here I am in Bogota adopting a little boy and discovering the miracle of loving a child that did not come from me physically. I have learned this from my Heavenly Father but also my earthly father. I am adopted and was loved so deeply by my dad that I never once questioned in my heart if I was wanted. I always knew- my dad was so good at letting me know that. If I cried, my dad cried. If I was happy, my dad was happy. If I needed help, he was the first one to offer assistance. Because of my wonderful earthly father's love I have been able to easily accept and know my Heavenly Father's love. He was such a good example of a father's love for his child.
I'm so sad for our family and this tragedy but I am comforted now by my Heavenly Father. I know that my dad is now experiencing true life and we are the ones experiencing the sadness of death.
I cannot thank my family and friends enough who have walked with me through this journey and offered so many loving words of encouragement and support. I am truly blessed. Tell your loved ones today how much you love them. Don't hold back- tell them what you love about them, how much you love them, hug them if you can. Life is truly short. Nothing else matters in this life except God, family, and friends.
Psalm 29:11
The Lord gives strength to his people; The Lord blesses his people with peace.
Psalm 30:11
You turned my wailing into dancing; you removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy, that my heart may sing to you and not be silent. O Lord, my God, I will give thanks to you forever.
Thursday, May 16, 2013
A moment of quiet
Troy and the kids (Ha- used to saying "the girls") are swimming right now and I have a moment of quiet reflection. This is a journey! Adoption is beautiful- this little boy that has invaded our lives in just one week is one of us. It takes "unconditional love" to a whole new level. Troy and I feel like it is such a picture of Jesus' love for us. We shower love upon this little boy with no expectation of anything in return. He is hurting right now and needs kisses, hugs, compassion, and understanding no matter what his behavior is like. Oh- this is hard. I am so selfish. I have never had to mother a child to this intensity but I know that it is worth it. I know that I am doing what I have been asked to do by God. I sobbed into Troy's shoulder yesterday- God is changing my heart. I have a new understanding of God's love for me. Wow.
Our First Week!
Well, we made it to Bogota! We arrived late Thursday night last week and went to the orphanage Friday morning. Our first meeting with Salvador was amazing! We had a short meeting with the people that worked at the orphanage and then they brought him in the room. It was such a sweet time.
Our first week has been exhausting emotionally and physically. I have been on an emotional roller-coaster. It is such a special time but can be so challenging too. He has been having tantrums thoughout the day and they are very stressful. We have to remind ourselves how scared and confused he must be. He has been through so much and I can't imagine how stressed he is.. He has no other way of expressing himself. Despite the tantrums he is doing so well! He has already bonded to us and calls me Mama and Troy, Papa. He has a strong personality and know what he wants! The girls are doing really well and love to mother him. I can tell he loves all the attention.
We love the neighborhood we are in and we walk to the park a couple of times a day. There is a nice grocery store by the park and I go there daily. I love being able to walk everywhere. The weather here is Bogota is really nice. Not too hot and not too cold.
Last night we took Salvador swimming for the first time. We don't know if he has been swimming before but he absolutely loved it. It was so awesome to see our son love the water since we are a family that is always around water.
Today we walked to a new park and the main mall close to our apartment. We made it one entire outing with NO tantrums!! Success!!!
Our first week has been exhausting emotionally and physically. I have been on an emotional roller-coaster. It is such a special time but can be so challenging too. He has been having tantrums thoughout the day and they are very stressful. We have to remind ourselves how scared and confused he must be. He has been through so much and I can't imagine how stressed he is.. He has no other way of expressing himself. Despite the tantrums he is doing so well! He has already bonded to us and calls me Mama and Troy, Papa. He has a strong personality and know what he wants! The girls are doing really well and love to mother him. I can tell he loves all the attention.
We love the neighborhood we are in and we walk to the park a couple of times a day. There is a nice grocery store by the park and I go there daily. I love being able to walk everywhere. The weather here is Bogota is really nice. Not too hot and not too cold.
Last night we took Salvador swimming for the first time. We don't know if he has been swimming before but he absolutely loved it. It was so awesome to see our son love the water since we are a family that is always around water.
Today we walked to a new park and the main mall close to our apartment. We made it one entire outing with NO tantrums!! Success!!!
Saturday, May 4, 2013
BOGOTA HERE WE COME!
I am excited to announce that all of our paperwork was approved and we are going to pick up our little boy at the orphanage this Friday at 11:00 am!
Troy and I were in Arizona when I read my email from our caseworker telling us that we were scheduled to pick up our little boy May 10. I can't tell you how excited Troy and I were. We had an amazing weekend just the two of us and then to get the news the day we were going back home was the icing on the cake.
On the plane home from Phoenix I had to hold back so many emotions. I did not burst into tears like I wanted to. I thought that might freak out the man next to me. But I had my own worship session in my heart almost the whole way home to Bismarck. Just hours before we found out the news my bible study that morning was on "fixing your eyes on Jesus." I'm telling you that if I hadn't had my eyes fixed on Jesus this past week I might have had a nervous breakdown. I just love that about God- when you spend time with Him he prepares you for what you need. Every time I was tempted to freak out over something I had to remind myself to fix my eyes on Jesus and trust that he is in control of every part of this adoption. There are so many emotions I'm dealing with right now. The excitement of meeting my son for the first time, the sadness of being separated from my daughters and Troy for a month after they leave Bogota, letting go of my need for organization (I simply don't have time to get everything in order like I would want to), the stress of our FBI criminal background checks not processed in time for us to travel, etc, etc! But God is completely in control and I have my eyes fixed on Him.
One week from right now I will have my little boy. Our family will be forever changed.
Troy and I were in Arizona when I read my email from our caseworker telling us that we were scheduled to pick up our little boy May 10. I can't tell you how excited Troy and I were. We had an amazing weekend just the two of us and then to get the news the day we were going back home was the icing on the cake.
On the plane home from Phoenix I had to hold back so many emotions. I did not burst into tears like I wanted to. I thought that might freak out the man next to me. But I had my own worship session in my heart almost the whole way home to Bismarck. Just hours before we found out the news my bible study that morning was on "fixing your eyes on Jesus." I'm telling you that if I hadn't had my eyes fixed on Jesus this past week I might have had a nervous breakdown. I just love that about God- when you spend time with Him he prepares you for what you need. Every time I was tempted to freak out over something I had to remind myself to fix my eyes on Jesus and trust that he is in control of every part of this adoption. There are so many emotions I'm dealing with right now. The excitement of meeting my son for the first time, the sadness of being separated from my daughters and Troy for a month after they leave Bogota, letting go of my need for organization (I simply don't have time to get everything in order like I would want to), the stress of our FBI criminal background checks not processed in time for us to travel, etc, etc! But God is completely in control and I have my eyes fixed on Him.
One week from right now I will have my little boy. Our family will be forever changed.
Friday, March 1, 2013
Thankful for Piles of Laundry
Troy, myself, and our 3 daughters just returned from a trip to the Dominican Republic. The first part of the trip was just vacation but the last 3 days we joined 2 other families and went to volunteer at an orphanage and school. Wow- what an amazing opportunity and experience for our girls! We went from a fancy resort to a bunkhouse- style house with 2 families we had just met the day before! Warm water and electricity not guaranteed. Oh- how I hope and pray that our girls were able to grab on to how other children in this world live and that the Lord planted seeds in their little hearts for serving those less fortunate than themselves.
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| Bean and Rice for lunch (their biggest meal of the day) Oh- it was absolutely delicious BTW! |
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| The littlest brother, Abby Happy and healthy at the orphanage |
When they complain that they are starving that maybe they will remember the 3 little boys that didn't have any food because their mom had to stay home from work to protect them from being abused by other men in the barrio.
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| The home of the little girl and her mom |
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| Wilson- safe and sound and loving Jesus |
When they complain about going to school they will remember the little boy who didn't go to school and had to learn to defend himself aggressively because he was being beaten up everyday by the neighborhood kids.
Hmmm- the more I think about it I hope I remember next time I have piles of laundry to do that I will remember how blessed I am that I have clothes to keep my babies warm, that I have running water and a front-load HE washer to do all the laundry for me. Next time I complain about making dinner I will be grateful for the full pantry and overflowing freezer of food to choose from. Lord, may I serve You today with a humble and grateful heart and remember our brothers and sisters in this world that have nothing but are still joyful because they have You Jesus.
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